#49 Dan Nichols

Nickname: Axel Tžrolôû, Pumper
Height: 6’3″
Weight: 180
Position: Handler
Years w/ESN: A 2019-2022
Hometown: Fox Chapel, PA
Former Teams:

  • Fox Chapel (2015-2018)
  • Impulse (2017-2018)
  • Pittsburgh Puppies (2018)
  • Slag Dump (2019)
  • SORD (2021)

E-mail: dananichols2018@gmail.com

Little known fact about Pumper is that he grew up on a farm in rural Tenessee. As a farmer, Dan learned early on the value of treating the Earth with respect. He took particular pride in his carrot patch, which he fertilized with his own feces. “Ya gotta do it like that”, Dan stated, “If it ain’t your own poop, they ain’t your carrots”. Interesting.

In his first year at the University of Pittsburgh, Dan is struggling to adjust to the big city life. The cars are faster, the lights are brighter, and poor Dan seems like a small fish in a big pond. But Dan is using this to his advantage. “Back on the farm, whenever we went fishin’ at the pond we always threw the little fish back into ’em grow bigger. I’m that little fish that is gonna get thrown back in so I can grow”. It’s alarming to think that Dan doesn’t realize that once he does grow bigger, he’ll be fished out cooked up, and served up with some lemon and rosemary. Sounds delicious.

Hopefully Dan learns the way of the big city soon enough.